Posts Tagged: writer’s block

Introduction to falling behind

Yes, I recognize that I’m now woefully behind in this post-a-day project. But it is not really my fault; forces beyond my control are conspiring against me. They weigh on me and burden me until I crumple down into a heap of my own laziness. (The laziness is beyond my control, too, of course.) These are not garden-variety forces of distraction and procrastination, like say, a hangnail on my typing finger, or simply beautiful beach weather. Not at all. Each of these complex and weighty forces deserves its own explanation that could stand alone in a separate post. And now that I type it, I see I have what looks like a great strategy for squeaking out some more posts! With that strategy in hand, I’ll do little more than enumerate the reasons why I haven’t written. And in the by-and-by, I’ll write about why I’m not writing.

  • Las Vegas
  • Computer problems
  • Parenting
  • American politics
  • Family emergencies
  • Neurotic belief that I must somehow learn about some 10 different computer programming technologies all at once.
  • World events

There’s no particular order to this list, just like in my actual life. Although co-incidentally, the first item on the list marked the beginning of the end for my fidelity to the Commitment. There’s nothing like going on vacation to break the routine, get you out of the habit, and make getting back to work impossibly distasteful.  Even if it’s only for a couple of days.

And so it was with the Las Vegas trip. Before the trip, the thought of completely failing to post for a day was just inconceivable. It may have been late, it may have been typo-ridden and incomprehensible, it may have been stupid and a sham topic just to get the post up, but by Dog, it was going to get done. Then, once I actually completely failed to deliver just once, just that first time, then it became conceivable. I thought to myself, “I missed a day and,…and… nothing happened.” And then after that, with each day that goes by it is SO MUCH easier to ignore the nagging little voice telling me that I made this Commitment I need to fulfill no matter what’s happened or who’s died.

I even brought my laptop with me to Vegas with the idea of continuing to write. I almost sort of did. I think I got one post up. But then,… well, I’d say more about what might have gone wrong with that plan, but you know what they say about what happens in Vegas. So, let’s leave it at that for the moment. And we’ll see if I can get around to explaining any of these other crippling roadblocks to self-realization through blogging.

Blogger’s Block and Art Walk Therapy

Vista Cruiser and Barracuda For Sale

Vista Cruiser and Barracuda For Sale

It began with writing. I found it harder and harder to do. The entries slowed to a trickle and then virtually stopped. It spread to the camera. I was able to shoot, but not with any focus or care. Going through the results at the end of the day, or week, became more and more confusing and difficult. And yet, I feel the need to get the expression out more than ever before. There are many parts to the problem, some of them seemingly contradictory. On one hand, I feel at a loss as to what exactly to try to develop in my photography or how to go about it. I feel like I’ve burned out on square format, color-tweaked, cropped cars. Everything I’ve done seems so dull and amateurish. On the other hand, I have so many ideas floating around that seem like good starting points that I can’t focus on any one for very long. Or even get past the contemplation stage. Underlying all of it is a vague feeling that I should not be thinking about this stuff at all, given my current under employment and other life obligations.

A small breakthrough tonight after returning from a “flickr photographers” show at Vox in Sacramento. Flickr friend Tom Spaulding had some nice work in the show. The show was inspirational, as was art at a couple other galleries, and the whole art party craziness of the Second Saturday Art Walk. It was my first time seeing it, and I was impressed by the sheer size of the turnout and number of galleries, music, clubs, restaurants and other participants. It was definitely worth the hour drive.

Browsing and organizing shots from the past month or so, I came back to this shot of the Vista Cruiser and Barracuda and just really liked it. It vaguely reminds me of Robert Bechtle, whose work I really like and whose name has come up in conversation with artist friends a couple times recently. I tried it in black and white, and really liked that too. It feels like the start of a return of clarity. If I can just keep at it, one shot at a time…